Intro: D  Dsus2  D  D  Dsus2  D  D  Dsus4  D  Dsus2  D  
  
Verse 1:
       C          G                       D            G  
And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply" 
  D                   A                    G                  A  
So I tucked my hair up under my hat, and I went in to ask him why 
 Bm                        Bm/A                   Em 
He said "You look like a fine, upstanding young man, 
            G6/A 
I think you'll do" 
        D                          A         
So I took off my hat and said "Imagine that! 
       G               A  
Heh, me workin' for you!" 
      D        C             G  
Whoa, sign sign everywhere a sign 
    D                          G  
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind 
D                  A                        C/G D (+) 
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign? 
           C                 G              
And the sign said anybody caught trespassin'
  D                      G   
would be shot out of sight 
         D                         A  
So I jumped on the fence and I yelled at the house 
     G                    A  
"Hey, what gives you the right?  
You put up a fence to keep me out but to keep Mother Nature in,  
If God was here he'd tell you to your face, 
"Man you're some kind of sinner!" 
 
Chorus: 
       A  
  Now hey there mister can't you read? 
       G                      D  
  You gotta have a shirt and tie to get a seat 
                            A  
  You can't even watch, no you can't even 
   G                    D  
  You ain't supposed to be here...
   C             G                        D             G  
  Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside. Uhhh!  
 
Instrumental
  
Verse 2: 
         C          G                      D                   G  
And the sign said "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray" 
               D                               A  
But when they passed around the plate and they emptied it all 
   G                      A  
I didn't have a penny to pay 
    Bm                 Bm/A          Em                   G6/A  
So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign 
         D                  A                 
I said "Thank you Lord for thinkin' about me, 
     G               A  
I'm alive and doin' fine!" 
  
Chorus:
       A  
  Now hey there mister can't you read? 
       G                      D  
  You gotta have a shirt and tie to get a seat 
                            A  
  You can't even watch, no you can't even 
   G                    D  
  You ain't supposed to be here...
   C             G                        D             G  
  Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside. Uhhh! 
  
Chorus: 
 D             C          G  
Signs, signs, everywhere signs 
 D                       C      G  
Blockin' up the scenery, messin' my mind 
 A                 G  
Do this, don't do that 
                   C  
Can't you read the signs 
In the meantime, the chorus goes 
 
 D             C          G  
 Signs, signs, everywhere signs 
 D                       C      G  
 Blockin' up the scenery, messin' my mind 
 D                A                               
 Do this, don't do that 
                   C  
 Can't you read the signs